I have two therapists involved in my post-divorce life. One for dealing with my X and one for helping my kid deal with my X.
Is it just me or is he really worth all this trouble? Never mind…that’s another post.
So, the other day I go to pick up my kids at my daughter’s therapist. I arrive right on time and walk into the waiting room where my X, the kids and therapist are sitting. I say “hello,” and my X orders me to wait outside. The therapist looks at me in shock. Funny, I was kind of used to be ordered around like a peon that I didn’t much take notice. He then ushers the therapist into her office so my X and she can discuss our kid without me being present.
I ignore/deflect and start chatting with the kids. I take them outside to await my X so we can exchange the kids’ belongings.
My X has been really good at hiding who he is in front of the therapists. I have repeatedly told them that he’s playing them for fools. Underneath his facade of “getting along for the kids” and “no, I don’t hate Sessica,” and “yes, I demonstrate respect for Sessica in front of the kids, and “no, I’m not creating an environment at my house that makes my kids afraid.”
After that exchange in front of my daughter’s therapist, she told me that she gets it now. She had yet to witness his utter lack of respect and complete contempt for me before. She understands his need for complete control over every situation.She noticed the change in the atmosphere of the room the instant I walked in – how tense and angry he became and how happy and relieved my kids were to see me.
For months, I’ve told both therapists this and more. Finally, they are beginning to see who he is. I cannot tell you what a total relief it is to hear validation.